by Sean Donahue
Like many Autistic adults, I began to unravel the mystery of my neurobiology late in life. Growing up, I was examined and interviewed by a slew of neurologists, school psychologists, guidance counsellors, teachers, and pediatricians who couldn’t quite make sense of the bumbling, uncoordinated kid who had a precocious vocabulary but couldn’t figure out how to communicate with his peers, who understood complicated mathematical concepts but couldn’t successfully solve arithmetic problems because he would get lost in his sloppy writing, who struggled with tasks like tying his shoes, and who showed signs of depression at the age of three.
At the time, Autism was still considered a rare neurological “disorder” of unknown etiology with narrow diagnostic criteria. [Editor’s note: Autism is capitalized throughout to emphasize the usage of the word to name an identity rather than a pathology, per the neurodiversity movement.]
Hans Asperger’s work in the 1930s-1960s, which identified Autism as a complex condition involving both gifts and challenges, and which first proposed the existence of an Autism spectrum, wasn’t translated into English until 1981, decades after its initial publication in German (Silberman 2015). This work wouldn’t make its way into the awareness of neurologists, psychologists, and educators for a decade or so more. Once Asperger’s insights became more well known, diagnostic criteria for Autism were expanded accordingly, leading to a sharp spike in diagnoses that would create the false impression of an “Autism epidemic” (Wing and Potter 2002). By that time I was already out of high school.
As an adult, that childhood linguistic precocity developed into an ability to speak and write in compelling ways, but I have continued to struggle with social interactions. I have an ability to see patterns and connections in the world that others miss, but I struggle with tasks that involve executive function like paying bills. It wasn’t until my late thirties that I began paying attention to the suggestions that I might be Autistic. And it took few years after I found out I was Autistic for me to find other Autistic adults who could help me understand more of our shared experience.